apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
