I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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