to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
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