can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
