My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Fuck appropriateness.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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