So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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