i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
