She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
