I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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