Just cropdusted the office
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
