Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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