So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
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