I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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