You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
