He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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