Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
