I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
