that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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