dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
my liver is dry heaving
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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