Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
