it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
