taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
