So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
