How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
