I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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