I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
