Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
