I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize