Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Randomize
