Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
