Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
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My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
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After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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