Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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