Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
and she was petting her beer can
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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