two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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