Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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