its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
