She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
