i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Holy sore nipples Batman
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
