You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Randomize
