butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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