ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
