i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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