covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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