So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
