My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
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