i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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