I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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