Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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