If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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