soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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