i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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