In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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