Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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