At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
