I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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