i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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