ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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