: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize