So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
