girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
